Oh hey there, long lost blog of mine!

December 23, 2015 by Filiz Guzhan | Comments Off on Oh hey there, long lost blog of mine!

Hi! It’s been a while, yeah? I took a long and much needed break from my blog and it was awesome. I moved to TX, got a job and experienced what it was like to be a working mama after nearly 2 years at home with J (it was really hard, kudos to you mamas out there doing it every day). After only 6 months in TX, we moved again.  This time to CT and I’m a stay-at-home mom once again. I must say, I’m pretty excited about it this time around. Since I got to taste of working-mom-life, I’m much more appreciative of all the time I get to spend with my lil boogie and thankful for another opportunity to pursue my creative passions once again.

Speaking of, you are about to see a big change coming to this little blog here. We haven’t worked out all the details quite yet, but it’s something my husband and I have been mulling over for quite some time. Basically, I’m thinking of getting rid of it completely and starting a new business website from scratch. We’ve bought this domain for three more months, so I’ll have some time to work on the content for the new page and hope to launch in the beginning of the new year.


I want to thank anybody who has followed along with me here over the past few years and sincerely hope you will join me for my new adventure in interneting next year :)






June 12, 2015 by Filiz Guzhan | Comments Off on Texas


I’m thrilled to be moving back to Texas!! If you follow me on insta (@marmaramaiden), then this is probably old news to you, but shiz is about to get real. This time next week I’ll be packing up a truck and making the long haul across the country, hopefully for the last time in a long time. We’ve had THREE major moves in the past three years and I’m so over it. I’m really ready to find our forever home and settle with my sweet little family. Catch ya’ll on the flip side. #texasorbust 

Our Breastfeeding Journey

May 1, 2015 by Filiz Guzhan | Comments Off on Our Breastfeeding Journey


 So here we are at 18 months and yes, we are still nursing. I thought I’d write a post about it since its been such a huge part of my life for the past year and a half and because I hope that some of the women out there reading this will identify with my story.  

Jasper latched on fairly easily and once we both got the hang of it, it was pretty much all we did for four months straight. He was kind of a colicky baby. The only time he was happy and resting was when he was breastfeeding. No one and nothing else could soothe him or get him to sleep, mama’s milk was the one and only answer for him. He’s always been on the small side, so his weight has always been a concern for me. Of course I had all that new mom guilt, I wondered if there was something wrong with me or my milk. After starting solids and not seeing any difference in his weight gain, we started supplementing with some formula, around 6 or 7 months, but around 11 months he decided he hated it and never touched it again. Even with the extra bottle or two of formula a day, he still wanted to nurse every two hours around the clock.  Finally around 8 months old he started sleeping for longer stretches at night and I finally got a break. From that time on (minus the occasional travel and growth spurt) he was pretty much night weaned. 

Our struggle has always been with naps. He will not nap without me. Without being nursed to sleep, without nursing while sleeping. He has been this way since day one. No one else has ever been able to put him to sleep and he’s so darn stubborn, he’d rather not nap than have it any other way. And I’ve tried. I’ve tried letting him CIO and he will cry hysterically for an hour or longer if I let him. I feel a little ashamed to say that I have let him cry for that long. Please don’t judge me internet. I had to at least try and see what he was capable of.

We are in full toddlerhood and I’d say we are still nursing (at least) four times a day. Once in the morning, once in the afternoon at nap time and before bed. I say at least four though because he usually demands another nursing session after breakfast. I try to keep him busy and not thinking about my milk as much as possible because he’d be on me all day if I were to let him. 

People say, “stop nursing him” when I start to complain about his naps. How I wish it was that easy! Like I could just say, “Nope, sorry kid!” and he’d be like “ok mommy!” and we’d be done with it, right? I only wish it were that easy. I definitely want to stop. If he wanted to stop today I’d be extremely happy, I might be sad for like a second, but then I’d be really really happy. If you’ve ever nursed a toddler than you know how hard it is and unfortunately, I just don’t think my sweet boy is the self weaning type. But we’ve been testing the weaning waters for  a while. I started refusing the “gimme it when I want it” or “boredom” feeds, telling him “no milk until nap/bed time” and it seems to finally be setting in. My next move is to tackle the nap since its the hardest part of my day. I’m afraid I’m just going to have to let him CIO and realize that mom is serious and trying to set a boundary. Then I plan to cut the pre-bedtime session and the morning one last. I don’t plan on doing it all at once, but gradually over time. Hopefully he catches on sooner than later. 

So that’s my strategy, I’ll let you know how it goes. Thanks for reading my story, I’d love to hear your experiences if you’d be willing to share! 


April 30, 2015 by Filiz Guzhan | Comments Off on Finally!

  It seems like my app is working again! Hurray! Thanks for hanging in there with me until this got sorted out!

Technical Difficulties 

April 11, 2015 by Filiz Guzhan | Comments Off on Technical Difficulties 

Hi there! I’ve been having some technology problems here, in case you’re wondering where I’ve been all week. The WP app on my iPad really needs to get it together and stop shutting down every time I try to upload a photo and my laptop really needs to stop giving me the “wheel of death” every time I try to open iPhoto. Sigh. I miss you guys and I have lots of stuff I need to share. So come on technologies, GET IT TOGETHER!